Primordial Speedwagon: The Legend of the Redemptioneers

The Death of a Salesman

Barns and Boggles

  • On the outskirts of Pontois, we see a barn. A child seems to be standing between us and the barn. His head spins around, defying all knowledge of anatomy, and a Boggle leaps out his mouth. We wipe the floor with some Boggles. Not a bad start. Lillian and Avogadro check on the status of the unknown child; he does not seem to be alive. We get the impression that these mischievous little Boggles are actually kidnapping children to kill them. Not cool boggles. Not cool.
  • Iorek cuts the head off a boggle, and we approach the barn doors. We collectively put little thought into battle tactics, kick open the door and throw the head on the floor, proclaiming the arrival of some grade A quality ass kickers.
  • To prevent being teleported away from one another, Landred and Iorek tie a rope between their waists. Upon entering the barn they are immediately dominated by a group of super-Boggles. They proceed to attack their allies.
  • What follows is a series of unfortunate events. Boggles have the ability to teleport, and bring you with them. They had a tendency to teleport us to the rafters of the barn, and then drop us 30 feet. Not great overall. Deerhorn was the first to feel that sting. He ended up nailing the side of a floor and taking out a ladder. I pictured it like Owen Hart’s death.
  • Iorek was then tossed up to the rafters. He attempted to swing down with the rope over the rafter and boot a boggle off the edge of the second floor of the barn, Indiana Jones-style, but apparently old crappy rafter wood and a regular hempen rope doesn’t support a 300lbs lizard man. Iorek fell 30 feet through the second floor, and like Deerhorn before him, ended up in a stable.
  • Avogadro attempted to light up the room on multiple occasions to get a better look at the layout of the barn, but the boggle kept moving the light source.
  • Anomis ended up unconscious in the rafters, Deerhorn was unconscious in a stable, Avogadro was unconscious on the ground, Lillian was climbing a ladder, and both Iorek and Landred were on the first floor of the barn. Things were pretty grim. Suzette was located on the second floor of the barn, in the clutches of a boggle. Landred ran up and took out all the supporting struts of that second floor hay loft, bringing Suzette and the boggle crashing down. Iorek ran, caught Suzette, and then protected her from the falling debris. During the collapse of the floor, Landred was knocked unconscious.
  • Iorek could do nothing but attempt to save Suzette. Pushing through the rubble, he attempted to leave, when a boggle used his portal trick to snatch the young girl from his arms. Tears streaming down his face, he could do nothing but grab Landred and pull him to safety. There was a huge explosion, as the rest of the team was engulfed in flames. Iorek and Landred were rendered unconscious by the blast. The last thing Iorek remembers hearing was the sound of Suzette being eaten.
  • Iorek, Landred, and Deerhorn awaken about a kilometre away. Lillian had rescued Avogadro and Deerhorn, patched us up, but couldn’t save Anomis.
  • Deerhorn and Iorek returned to the ruins of the barn in search of Anomis’ corpse. We found it, along with a bracelet and stuffed animal that belonged to Suzette. With the help of Avogadro, Deerhorn and Iorek buried Anomis. Iorek threw in Suzette’s teddy bear, and his symbol of Bahamut that had been pinned to his chest. Before they buried Anomis, they removed a piece of his horn.
  • They then returned to Pontois, and in a slow motion emotional montage, returned Suzette’s bracelet to her inconsolable mother and devastated father. We vowed to return one day and take vengeance on these Boggles.
  • We then traveled to what we now know as Rodez, a refugee town that borders the Kingdom of Seaside, where we managed to find a Priest of Pelor who was capable of resurrecting Anomis. We then stood in line for a long time, and attempted to gather information from the locals. Some Riders of the Blasted Plains propaganda was planted on Iorek. The guards did not like this fact. Iorek tossed away the paper.

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