Primordial Speedwagon: The Legend of the Redemptioneers

Tricks and Traders
Nothing. Nothing but delicious ocean fish...

Point form notes will have to suffice for now. I’m in the process of collating some data and reticulating some splines.

Feel free to flesh this out. Iorek wasn’t around for some of this.

  • Stood in line for a while and attempted to get our papers/negotiate our way into the Kingdom of Seaside; failed, but sent word to Ser Orianne of Seaside. Established a false back story that Virgil lived in Seaside. Lillian claims she lived in Seaside, but that the identity papers situation is new.
  • Exited the building and noticed Reaver in more formal attire (along with 18 other Riders) addressing the crowd, trying to convince them to join their cause. We confronted him and attempted to discredit him and win the crowd over to our side. For the most part we failed. Enraged Reaver to the point where his visage briefly took on some serpentine characteristics. The Riders (at the very least Reaver himself) seem to be worshipping or in some other fashion influenced by an old serpent god. We discover that they have set up a prison camp in the ruins of Laon, forcing people to mine.
  • The guards of the Kingdom of Seaside are screening and preventing people ravaged by a plague from entering their realm. We spoke to a few of the refugees. Found out they acquired the plague from Lizardfolk who were selling them mushrooms and stone tools. There seemed to be some infectious spores afoot.
  • We also learned there were some dragons afoot. Scarsnag the Black seems to be hanging out in the Marsh, while Celladon the Green seems to be living in the Forest, and also seems to be responsible for telling the Lizardfolk to trade with the humans. We haven’t confirmed if Celladon is also the source of the plague, or he is intentionally poisoning humans, but it seems likely. Other than the original dragon egg we found in the mine and gave to Reaver, this marks the first appearance of dragons.
  • Dragons took some time out of their evening to fuck with us. Unconfirmed whether or not they were fighting amongst themselves or teaming up to screw around with us.
  • Attempted a ruse to get information from the Lizardfolk Traders. Deerhorn and Iorek piloted wheelbarrows containing Lillian/Avogadro and Anomis/Virgil, respectively, who were hiding under burlap sacks. Communicating in Draconic, Iorek attempted to negotiate a deal with the Lizardfolk. We got some information regarding the location of the dragons. After an unlikely amount of time of successful maintenance, the ruse fell apart when the Lizardfolk demanded some of the fresh ocean fish it was claimed that the wheelbarrows contained. Iorek and Avogadro attempted to coordinate the presentation of a prestidigitated fish, but Iorek shit the bed. The floating magic fish was less impressive to the Lizardfolk than you’d imagine. Deerhorn and Iorek drew their weapons, before pulling off the burlap sacks and beginning combat.
  • After defeating the four Lizardfolk, we pinned one to the ground and got some information from him. We investigated their goods (which were infected with the spores. Anomis managed to avoid getting infected), Avogadro re-collected the gold we bribed them with, and we proceeded to strike a deal. He takes us to the “witch doctor” and we let him live. The “witch doctor” in question will presumably have information about the plague, or the green dragon Celladon, and be helpful. Or we’ll probably kill him.
  • We made a makeshift warning regarding the hazards of Trading with humans, by mounting the heads of the fallen Lizardfolk on their spears near the side of the road.
  • Lizardfolk in tow, the Redemptioneers ready themselves to move on.
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The Death of a Salesman
Barns and Boggles
  • On the outskirts of Pontois, we see a barn. A child seems to be standing between us and the barn. His head spins around, defying all knowledge of anatomy, and a Boggle leaps out his mouth. We wipe the floor with some Boggles. Not a bad start. Lillian and Avogadro check on the status of the unknown child; he does not seem to be alive. We get the impression that these mischievous little Boggles are actually kidnapping children to kill them. Not cool boggles. Not cool.
  • Iorek cuts the head off a boggle, and we approach the barn doors. We collectively put little thought into battle tactics, kick open the door and throw the head on the floor, proclaiming the arrival of some grade A quality ass kickers.
  • To prevent being teleported away from one another, Landred and Iorek tie a rope between their waists. Upon entering the barn they are immediately dominated by a group of super-Boggles. They proceed to attack their allies.
  • What follows is a series of unfortunate events. Boggles have the ability to teleport, and bring you with them. They had a tendency to teleport us to the rafters of the barn, and then drop us 30 feet. Not great overall. Deerhorn was the first to feel that sting. He ended up nailing the side of a floor and taking out a ladder. I pictured it like Owen Hart’s death.
  • Iorek was then tossed up to the rafters. He attempted to swing down with the rope over the rafter and boot a boggle off the edge of the second floor of the barn, Indiana Jones-style, but apparently old crappy rafter wood and a regular hempen rope doesn’t support a 300lbs lizard man. Iorek fell 30 feet through the second floor, and like Deerhorn before him, ended up in a stable.
  • Avogadro attempted to light up the room on multiple occasions to get a better look at the layout of the barn, but the boggle kept moving the light source.
  • Anomis ended up unconscious in the rafters, Deerhorn was unconscious in a stable, Avogadro was unconscious on the ground, Lillian was climbing a ladder, and both Iorek and Landred were on the first floor of the barn. Things were pretty grim. Suzette was located on the second floor of the barn, in the clutches of a boggle. Landred ran up and took out all the supporting struts of that second floor hay loft, bringing Suzette and the boggle crashing down. Iorek ran, caught Suzette, and then protected her from the falling debris. During the collapse of the floor, Landred was knocked unconscious.
  • Iorek could do nothing but attempt to save Suzette. Pushing through the rubble, he attempted to leave, when a boggle used his portal trick to snatch the young girl from his arms. Tears streaming down his face, he could do nothing but grab Landred and pull him to safety. There was a huge explosion, as the rest of the team was engulfed in flames. Iorek and Landred were rendered unconscious by the blast. The last thing Iorek remembers hearing was the sound of Suzette being eaten.
  • Iorek, Landred, and Deerhorn awaken about a kilometre away. Lillian had rescued Avogadro and Deerhorn, patched us up, but couldn’t save Anomis.
  • Deerhorn and Iorek returned to the ruins of the barn in search of Anomis’ corpse. We found it, along with a bracelet and stuffed animal that belonged to Suzette. With the help of Avogadro, Deerhorn and Iorek buried Anomis. Iorek threw in Suzette’s teddy bear, and his symbol of Bahamut that had been pinned to his chest. Before they buried Anomis, they removed a piece of his horn.
  • They then returned to Pontois, and in a slow motion emotional montage, returned Suzette’s bracelet to her inconsolable mother and devastated father. We vowed to return one day and take vengeance on these Boggles.
  • We then traveled to what we now know as Rodez, a refugee town that borders the Kingdom of Seaside, where we managed to find a Priest of Pelor who was capable of resurrecting Anomis. We then stood in line for a long time, and attempted to gather information from the locals. Some Riders of the Blasted Plains propaganda was planted on Iorek. The guards did not like this fact. Iorek tossed away the paper.
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The Girl Who Cried Monster
Stolen hearts and missing children

As with all entries, don’t be shy about editing in things. This is mostly from my perspective, and I am definitely forgetting/getting stuff wrong.

  • Recovering from our battles within the cave, we returned to the surface and the mysterious giant crystal had vanished. There seemed to be no trace of it, other than the huge crater it left behind. Iorek remembered something from a history book or religious text regarding similar crystals being used as beacons.
  • Tired and obviously blinded by how bright it was during the torential downpour that ensued, we somehow forgot to reclaim our horses, and instead decided to walk the four days in the mud towards the nearest town. Not our best moment.
  • After a lot of walking, we decided to make a fire and camp out. We talked about stuff. Iorek wrote his wife a letter, and we each took turns on watch. Virgil lit Iorek’s face on fire. We eventually make it to the town of Pontois, where we take refuge in an inn called the Greasy Lurker.
  • Virgil goes and drinks by himself. He hears rumours about things around town going missing. He then loses a variety of items mysteriously.
  • Avogadro spots an interesting lady sitting alone in a corner. He prestidigitates some flowers and hits a home run. Iorek, Landred, and Anomis sit in awe.
  • Iorek, Landred, and Anomis eventually meet the Fullière family. Luke and Arianne have three children, Roger, Marlène, and Suzette. Since the inn is pretty busy, there are no rooms available. The Fullières are suspiciously nice to us, and offer to put us up for the night in their home. Unable to find Virgil and Avogadro, the rest of the team goes with the Fullières.
  • Anomis the Bard notes the song the children are signing. A well known nursery rhyme regarding Boggles.
  • It seems that they were actually just really kind people. They warm us and feed us. Their children are adorable, especially young Suzette, who comes down at one point to tell us there’s a monster in her room. Iorek goes up to make sure there isn’t anything there; he sees nothing and reassures the little girl that everything will be fine. The girl goes missing.
  • We suspect the culprits are Boggles, based on the slime trail. We meet up with the rest of the group (along with Avogadro’s new lady friend Lillian, who happens to be a resident of Seaside who requires help from a Wizard to undo a curse. She’s been cursed by a woman named Jade, and it turns Lillian into a sexy newt…at least according to my notes.) We track the boggles over to a water tower, where we proceed to battle. We realize that black dragonborn’s can’t jump.
  • Eventually we subdue one of the boggles and force him to lead us to the girl. He makes a portal inside a wall and we step through and find ourselves near a barn…
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